Six Fictional Situations That Would NEVER Happen to Me

Six Fictional Situations that would Never Happen To Me

I think – I think – that because many books are labelled “fiction,” there is a wide variety of events that are pretty not expected to happen. Alien invasions, for example. I’m assuming that’s not going to happen for at least a couple of years.

At least.

There are also a bunch of problems that fictional characters have that I would very not likely have. I’m pretty sure if I had any of these situations happen to me, I’d keel over and that’d be the end of that story.

 

INHERITING A KINGDOM

Me? Inherit a kingdom? Please. I can barely manage my life, much less a kingdom.

I’d also make a terrible ruler.

“Your highness, there seems to be hints of an attack at one of our forts stationed to the west.”

“Mmm…”

“… and there also seems to be a case of terrible food poisoning in the agricultural districts.”

“Hmm… squire?”

“Yes, your highness?”

“Did you say this cake was chocolate?”

#priorities

 

LOVE TRIANGLE

Sorry guys. That kind of drama ain’t cut out for me.

Quite frankly, my blunt displays of affection/lack of affection would shut down any possibility of a love triangle.

And I’ll be honest I’ll probably end up driving the other one away so there’s no need of the love triangle away.

Actually I’d probably just drive both of them away.

Go figure.

 

THE GOVERNMENT NEEDS KIDDIES TO HELP THEM OUT

I’d be very worried if the government that was in charge of protecting my country had to enlist teenagers to help fight the Ultimate Big Baddie.

Very worried.*

And me, saving the world? Or at least having partial credit saving the world?

Yeah no bye.

*Actually, kids saving the world would be pretty damn cool. Just not me though. Definitely not me.

DRAMATIC SUMMER MAKEOVER

You see this?

 

That’s me, laughing insanely.

Claudia and makeovers don’t go in the same sentence, out of pure laziness than anything else.

I mean, that’s a lot of work. Shopping, matching, styling, makeup-ing. A lot of stuff I don’t really know how to do.

Well, I know how to shop for books. That, you can hit me up anytime.

 

PARTIES WITH MURDERS

“Oh my god, x’s party was so great last night. Except for that guy who got murdered. That really sucks for him.”

Excuse me, what?

This will nevereverever happen to me for two reasons:

  1. Parties are not my scene
  2. People are not my scene

 

SECRET SCHOOL CLUB WITH A CRIME-FIGHTING SCENE

If my school was cool enough for this, it wouldn’t be… my school.

Have you seen the kids at my HS? The biggest crime they’re most concerned with is that someone bought out all the cookies from the cafeteria.

Or maybe my school does have some uber-cool crime-fighting club, and I just wasn’t invited.

That’s probably it.
Yeah.